So, I’m in a strange place again. I loved my days beside the sea and being looked after. Those of you who live on your own will know the sheer pleasure of having your bed made and meals cooked by somebody other than yourself… Anybody other than yourself!
AND it’s only while writing to you that I realise I know this strange place very well. It’s a kind of no woman’s land where I just want to loll about and motivation is low. It’s the place where something’s brewing in me; I’m being called to another expansion but I don’t know WTF it is yet.
Oh no… not more! Give me a break…
It’s like the nano-second when womb contractions start for menstruation or birthing. Part of you doesn’t want it to happen AND you know there’s no choice. If you could only surrender to the potency of your womb power you’d save yourself a lot of aggravation.
So that’s my post for this week. Yeah… I know there’s the BREXIT thing, the budget, the Philip Green thing, the Saudi Arabia thing and the tragedy of the Yemen. There’s the period poverty thing, the universal credit thing and… My eyes prick with tears.
RIGHT NOW THE ONLY FREAKIN’ THING I CAN COPE WITH is giving birth to whatever I’m being called to expand into this time.
I feel frustrated by the divine and my soul’s truth. Why can’t you just let me know right now what my next bit is? Why oh why does it have to be this hot pan on simmer thing when I’m raring for it to boil?
Tough shit, woman… My soul is shy and doesn’t respond to full frontal logic and masculine intellectual questioning. It wends its way mysteriously through sensed experiences, revealing a clue now and again until you realise the truth to which you’re being called.
I chuckle at the part of me that’s impatient. Chill baby chill… I know the more I relax and expect nothing, the quicker my process will unfold and the truth of this expansion, my truth, will arrive.
So that’s it. No revelations. I’m in process and trust that process to deliver either by the slow unfolding of clues or a smack-in-the-jaw flash of enlightenment… or a mixture of both. Who knows?
If patience is sitting and waiting, faith is just sitting! That’s all I can do for now…
Love to you…